If you’re a young woman (especially in your twenties) these are the books I've read over the last 2 years - give or take - that shaped me into the person I am today and I think you should read too. They have transformed my way of thinking about my body, my sexual experiences, sexism, you name - all touching on womanhood, motherhood, the male gaze and general advice for younger women. Please use these as your bibles, worship them, recite them, gift them to friends, display them on your bedside tables, carry them around in your handbags, use them to hit idiots over the head with, let these be your guide into adulthood as a 21st-century girl.
“Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel like I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on.” Nora Ephron
This candid memoir details the trials and tribulations of Dolly’s 20’s. She tells sincere stories about her life in London, dating men, her physiological struggles around food, loss and of course, love. The book’s themes can be summarised In Dolly’s own words“Rambunctious, restless and ramshackle. Roving, raucous and rebellious. My roaming decade; my roaring twenties.” At the core of the book is the importance of female friendships and how they shape our lives, growing up together and taking on the world. This book broke my heart and fixed it all at once and is an absolute necessity on your list as you grown further into womanhood.
Body politics is discussed far and wide, but Emily Ratajowski discusses the pressures that come with using her body as her USP. Emily’s body has been taken advantage of by men in positions of power, it has been sold for art, used to sell products and in this collection of essays, she is trying to take back ownership of it. This book hits close to home for a lot of women, with its honesty and acknowledgement around pretty privilege and the guilt you can carry as someone who is ‘conventionally beautiful’. It’s clear, as for many other women, it comes at a price, or even, with a price tag.
“I wonder how many women you've disregarded in your life, written off, because you assumed they had nothing to offer beyond the way they looked. How quickly they learned that the stuff in their heads was of less value than the shape of their bodies. I bet they were all smarter than you.”- Emily Ratajowski, My Body
Not only was Vivienne a feminist icon of the 1980s punk scene and has great stories of what it was like as one of the very few women in that industry of the time, but this book is so much more than that. It was one of the first accounts I ever read of a miscarriage. It was eye-opening to me as a young woman to understand the trauma that women's bodies have gone through and the possibilities mine could face one day. Not only this, but her bravery to leave her marriage, and start an entirely new life following her passions in her 40s was thrilling to read that, being middle-aged isn’t the be-all and end-all of excitement and new beginnings in a woman’s life like the rest of the media wants you to believe.
This book was my foundation course in learning to deflect the male gaze. I realised I wasn't alone in constantly thinking about the way I look - when I'm walking, eating, talking...all day every day. It may make me ask myself all kinds of questions about who I’m dressing for, why I'm dressing that way and ask myself, 'What do I enjoy/have the desire to look like and what am I expected to like?' It also helped me come to terms with the term ‘pretty privilege’ and understand the privileges I have as a white, able-bodied, woman.
This is a very quick read, and focuses mostly on older women’s experiences. However, I think this makes it all the more important. Often, within our society whether it's socially, or through the media we consume, TV, magazines, film etc, women over 40 are often cast aside. This book talks about the fears of woman who is ageing, admitting her regrets and sharing her advice to younger women. My favourite line, which has always stuck with me is “ “Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.” It reminds me that, one day when I’m older and my skin doesn’t quite look the name and I may have scars from childbirth and loose bits in places, I’ll have wished I didn't loathe my body at 20 years old.
I hope that these books touch you the same way that they touched me and become a part of your bookshelf for years to come. I imagine this list will continue to grow as I grow older and read more and more and maybe even one day, my own book will make the list. If you're interested in any other books that I read, take a look at my Goodreads account.
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